It is NOT OK to Not Be OK, Unless…

A lot of times you’ll go out and you’ll see someone with a bag or a shirt that says, “It’s OK to not be OK. “I really like those shirts and I think that they’re great and I could understand how some people would maybe see them and say “What the hell does that even mean?” or “Hey why don’t you go F&$@ yourself!?” And I feel those are pretty reasonable responses to these types of T-shirts.

I would say that maybe they deserve another phrase or sentence, That would be: It’s OK to not be OK as long as you say, you’re sorry if you flip your top and lose your marbles. That’s what we call not being in control of your emotions. That’s what children do… Period, but, shoot I did that this morning and I’m 43 years old. I yelled at my kids because I got emotionally involved and I felt overwhelmed and I just lashed out and yelled. I lost my shit and I yelled at my adorable 4-year-old and 8-year-old.

Me the supposed “calm” dad. The same dad who promised after he started working out and meditating that he would never yell again. We celebrated that moment, my children and I. We jumped up and down in joy that I was committing to making the promise of not yelling again… but that promise is completely empty if this story ended when I lost control of my emotions, flipped my lid, and yelled at my children.

You better be damn sure that not 30 minutes later, I said I was sorry, I gave my kids a hug and I took a deep breath, then we made up and everything was cool. We were back to normal, talking about cheese-heads and joking about stuffed foxes eating flowers.

If I hadn’t admitted that I was wrong, then my children would still be in a state of shock, they would be unhappy. As Gabor Maté MD, instructs us, the moment a child does not feel safe in coming to speak with us, we are building a separation from them, and they are living in a state of trauma.

Two children quietly look outside as a flock of black birds fly away.

When I child has been yelled at they feel like they are not living up to whatever they are meant to be. When we: yell at them, or ignore them so we can look at our phone, when we insist that they eat a food they dislike. When we force them to do something that we want them to do (when it really doesn’t matter either way or safety is not an issue…) When we control them just because it feels better to be in control, we are lowering their self-worth. We are smothering their creativity.

We are taking away from their confidence that they are good enough. This is not a victimless crime; this will come back to haunt them. This will return as an addiction or a compulsory action they will not like later in their life. They will find a way to fill the void we created when we communicated that, “They are not good enough.”

The sooner I said, “I’m sorry that I yelled” the sooner we could start to recover from the disorientation and the painful ping of craziness from Daddy having a momentary inability to control his emotions. It doesn’t matter that you lost your shit as long as you pause (like stop everything) and say you’re sorry. It isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card…

AdobeStock_408427987_Editorial_Use_Only

…but if you really mean it, and then explain where you are and why you lost control then you have a moment of humility and generate yourself a second chance. It still matters that you let your emotions get the best of you, but if you own it, then you can start building emotional credit again.

If you FAIIL to acknowledge the moment that “You were NOT OK”, then you start building a rift. The moment you don’t own that “You were NOT OK” then it is no longer “OK to not be OK.”

Special thanks to Kyle Stockman for being a good accountability partner, for keeping me thinking, for calling me a guru that one time, and for giving me the idea of adding a hook to my featured image. Let’s get some sushi soon, Kyle… like tomorrow.

Thanks for reading!

David Kolmer is an Instructional Designer who holds a Bachelor’s degree in Theater and a Master of Science in Instructional Design and Educational Technology. Sometimes he shaves his beard and other times he does not. Usually he does not yell at his children and other times he does yell at them, but when he does you better be damn sure he owns that shit and says he is sorry.

Nothing For Her Birthday 🍰

If you have seen any of my November posts you might have heard me say that I was consistently not shaving my beard for November. It was No-Shave-November over here and my wife and my daughter were none too impressed. My daughter pretended to think it was cool but my wife was very open about how it made me look old and she thought it was not lovely.

This post should have come out at the beginning of December but I spent more time than I had anticipated on my last post: Long Rich Life of Novelty.

Dave at Target to buy minty beard balm with his adorables. Text on image "Nothing for her birthday"
Dave at Target to buy minty beard balm with his adorables

Why did I have a beard for November? Well, I am not going to lie, I like having a beard. However, the movement is about more than just doing what you like. I have a good reason to shave my beard, my wife hates it. No Shave November is actually a movement that recognizes men’s health. It is a statement to open the door for discussions around types of man-specific cancer and mental health. When a person struggles with their health they often lose some or even all of their hair. No shave November is an opportunity to grow out the hair, appreciate that you have health, and be thankful that you are healthy.

Luckily, my wife’s birthday was at the end of November, so I could shave the beard just in time for her birthday present. Unfortunately, for my wife, I still had the beard for our wedding anniversary but I think we look distinguished.

Dave and his wife, Jeab at the Ritz Carlton St. Louis
Dave and his wife, Jeab at the Ritz Carlton St. Louis

Dave and his wife, Jeab at Oceano Bistro, Clayton, MO
Dave and his wife, Jeab at Oceano Bistro, Clayton, MO

I do not have any pictures of after me shaving, to see that you have to watch the video of me shaving my face for my wife’s birthday.

In this video, my son documents my act of shaving my face

I did have options, but when I was searching around on the internet for beard knowledge I found pictures of other options I had. I found these images that I probably do not have the rights to use on this blog, but they are also probably a FaceBook post from an Instagram post from Reddit, so they have gotten around at this point.

Oakland A's starter Mike Fiers with a beard that wraps down around his mouth and the hooks back up around and makes his mustache.
Oakland A’s starter Mike Fiers
A man with a beard that wraps down around his mouth and the hooks back up around and makes his mustache.
Some dude who is not famous like
Oakland A’s starter Mike Fiers

I don’t know what you call that type of curly “G” shave but I got some flac when I posted it on my social media. Then there is this guy who is all over the internet with his spiral beard but I can’t seem to find his name

A man with a spiral beard that wraps around 3 times.
Spiral Beard
A man with a spiral beard that wraps around 3 times.
Spiral Beard

We were fortunate to go to the Missouri Botanical Garden Light Glow with our good friends, the Prechtels, this year! Yes, I have friends. What? Why are you looking at me surprised like that?

You see!? Real friends, I have. I didn’t even pay them to hang out with me.
…Well, I bought the tickets but they paid me back on VENMO right away.

In conclusion, I feel that there was some friction around growing a beard for health awareness in men, but nothing that would deter me from doing the same thing next November 2024!

Thanks for reading!

David Kolmer is an Instructional Designer who holds a Bachelor’s degree in Theater and a Master of Science in Instructional Design and Educational Technology. Sometimes he shaves his beard and other times he does not. When he chooses to not shave his beard he always insists on keeping his beard well trimmed and adds minty beard balm from Target that his daughter says smells very good.

Long Rich Life of Novelty

I found myself at a bonfire last month explaining to one of my best friends, Ted, that I live my life according to the currency of experience. I admitted I don’t do much motivated by money. I live my life in a way that enriches my wealth of experience. In this post, I explain why and uncover evidence as to why this perception of life has unexpected benefits.

Essentially time perception researchers agree. There are two ways to perceive that you are living a longer life.

  1. Live a very boring life. Act like you are stranded on an international air flight with nothing to do.
  2. Live a very novel life. Try new things all the time and go to new places.

I will allow you to guess which I use:

In this photo, I am wearing a coat I do not own. It is a product for sale by Costco.
My children are taking pictures of me from their perch in the shopping cart.
The man in the green sweater is judging us and I am not aware and now that I am aware I do not care.
In the end, I did purchase this coat because it is so slick and novel.

The whole reason for this post is so that you go and listen to a Podcast created by Sindhu Gnanasambandan. titled The Secret to a Long Life.

http://www.wnycstudios.org/story/secret-long-life/
So go listen to that right now, or watch it on YouTube right here. Whatever floats your chicken boat.

I listened to this Radiolab episode while I was mowing the lawn. Then I listened to it again during my son’s swimming lesson at the YMCA. Ever since listening to this episode, I don’t go and just watch my son at his swimming lesson. I bring my daughter too and we all get into the pool during the lesson and we all swim. I mean I am a member at the YMCA, so I should have done this before. We don’t mess around with the other classes and the teachers seem to like it.

To be honest, I saw a friend doing the same thing, but something snapped when I heard this, or it clicked, and then I started talking about what I was seeing more frequently and taking action.

Long story short I was jealous that the creators at Radiolab had this lengthy experiment on stretching time via novelty. So, when my buddy said they were going to a Speakeasy I broke my traditional rhythm of saying, “Oh, sounds like fun, but I’m a dad now and I have to mow my lawn and be a boring old person…” and instead I went!
Check out the video to see how it went:

The speakeasy is found near this shop:

https://maps.app.goo.gl/xkrkFnDPxKfFVHed8

You don’t need to travel the globe or even spend money to find Novelty. My son was given a balloon at school during the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade. He used some markers to make his balloon look just like his favorite Pokemon. He did so well that when I picked him up from school I assumed it was a store-bought balloon design. Creating art is free, it is pure catharsis and is the highest form of worship.


Creating art is pure novelty.

A picture of Vincent with his Peekachu balloon he made by hand.

Wonder is all around you. You simply need to pause, take a deep breath and observe. While on one of the bike rides my family took together for a biking challenge I covered on this blog my daughter looked up at me and asked:

Jasmine Kolmer – Age 4 – September 2023

Thanks to my Friends at TechSmith

In this video, I highlight the progression from using my computer’s built-in web camera and microphone to using suggestions from connections at TechSmith (Andy Owen and Matthew Pierce) to using my iPhone 12 mini as a camera via the free version of Camo Studio.

V2 of this video.

I am impressed that I can use Camo Studio by downloading respective apps on my Windows PC and Mac iPhone 12 mini. The free version is limited but really does more than I expected. The only limitation I see is that I can only record in 720p and not 1080p resolution. While working on this post to make sure my thumbnail was the right ratio I received information from TechSmith and there was Andy Owen again. So, thank you two times Andy Owen!

He looks surprised that he is being so helpful. Don’t be surprised Andy Owen, you are always helpful, and so are you Matt Pierce, you guys rock.)

Honestly, it might’ve just been another message for you, another part of your day, but it meant the world to me. It helped me move forward.

I also updated my process by using the Microphone I obtained when I purchased the Comica CVM-VM10-K. In the video, I call this microphone a powered condenser microphone, but I don’t think it actually is. The microphone is simple a High-quality cardioid microphone. I am questioning if this really improved the sound quality of what My phone already has, but at least the mic is pointed at my face!

The MXL-990 condenser microphones

I also owe a big thank you to my friends, Caleb Willitz, who is a well-known audio recorder in the Chicago area. He has given me a measurable amounts of advice on how to build a better sound booth. Also, my very good friend Ted Schaefer has confirmed much of Caleb‘s advice, and then also recommended a pair of infamous condenser mics, that are known for high-quality at a reasonable cost.

I have purchased 2 phantom-powered condenser microphones but do not have my Focusrite Scarlett 4i4 compact audio studio hub, so more to come on my sound clarity! Not to mention my lighting, which I do mention in this video. Special thanks to my friends at Articulate for the free light, I won’t stop using it, but plan to add more lights.

Polo & Pan – Ani Kuni (CC)

John_Kensy_Music – Mindfulness Relaxation & Meditation Music

Grateful to be Alive

I want to share that I have lived a full life. I have sucked the sweet marrow out of life and lived life to the fullest. I should have died multiple times but I did not die, and for that I am thankful. I love that I am alive.

This is a big holiday in the United States. It had never been my favorite. The staples are glutinous action and binging American football. Oh, and we pretend that we did not euthanize the native Americans. These are not things I hold close to my heart. Give me Halloween and Christmas all day long, but I can leave Thanksgiving at the dinner table.

When the Puritans and the first white people landed in the American nation we had basically no plan. I say “we” here because I am German/Hungarian and therefore caucasian, but I do not adhere to any of the Puritan doctrines. (Idealistic Christian beliefs that included spreading hate and fear of those who who ar not white and heterosexual.)

The first white people in the Americas were lost and afraid. They probably ate corn and some deer with the Native Americans in a desperate attempt to stay alive. This has evolved into a gluttonous feast around pumpkin pie, sugared cranberry, and Turkey. I mean, Turkey is a superfood so I am totally on board with that part, regardless of the historical inaccuracy.

In fact, we had such a poor plan that the first white British colony resorted to cannibalism just to survive. and then there is the fact that we wiped most of the Native Americans off the face of the earth. Not no real reason to celebrate in my book. In spite of all of this, I am still happy and I am still grateful.

If you disagree you should listen to this masterpiece by Avery Trufelman

https://archive.curbed.com/2019/5/30/18644531/nice-try-curbed-podcast-jamestown

Thankfulness is a buzzword. Let’s just call it what it is. At this point, it is a painful offshoot of the frenzy of consumism by the most successful capitalist society of all time. But the US needs to watch out because China is closing in on us for such a prize.

That is not what I mean in this post. I am talking about being grateful for the benefits of gratitude. Now there is plenty of research on how this act of being thankful decreases the stress hormone cortisol, and I am an avid listener of the 10% Happier Podcast, but I am going to fall back on Headspace in my content curation here because Headspace is the BOMB.com. If you are not using Headspace then where have you been!? You need to get on that, BOSS!

What is one thing you are thankful for today!? Be mindful of being thankful for what is good. The delight will overwhelm you and the fact that we have systematically disenfranchised the women and people of colour in this world will start to matter less. Or at least, they will not overwhelm you with guilt as they tend to do for me on this dreadful holiday of denial of history.

I got dark here. I got a bit too real for some. If this is too real you need to grow a pair (testicles or ovaries, however, you identify.) If you live a life of privilege you need to own that shit and live up to it. You need to capitalize on that shit so that you can empower those who have been disenfranchised by the very systems that empower you.

The Dalai Lama

If You Ask Barbie:

What we can learn about learning from the Barbie Movie.

Writing prompt courtesy of Betty Dannewitz.

Pink Barbie logo on the big TV screen with neon colorful background on wall. Dark room in home with TV screen playing Barbie trailer or movie. Realistic vector illustration. NY, NY-USA - July 9 2023 - Adobe Stock
Pink Barbie logo on the big TV screen with neon colorful background on wall. Dark room in home with TV screen playing Barbie trailer or movie. Realistic vector illustration. NY, NY-USA – July 9 2023 – Adobe Stock

The Barbie movie is accessible to all viewers. It is both a Hollywood eye-candy musical and a deep tragic world art film at the same time. It lives in both worlds simultaneously. In the same way, good training is accessible to all learners and offers differentiated content for both advanced and novice learners.

Accessibility is a bit of a buzzword in the Training and Development industry right now, but it is something we should have been talking about from the beginning and it is not something that will go away. Humans are all very unique and a one-size-fits-all was never the right choice and moving away from that approach has countless benefits.

The real way to do Accessibility is before design or development starts. Accessibility is not only adding a PDF transcript to be available with a video, it is about designing learning content to be easily consumed by a variety of learners right from the beginning. If you develop content that works for the visually and hearing impaired using simple language that we all can understand then it benefits us all. The content is easier to understand and we have more than one way to get the information into our psyche. Not only does this decrease concerns around Cognitive Load and Cognitive Overload but also offers the benefits of content repetition by consuming the content in multiple modalities.

Classic Barbie (Margot Robbie) slowly develops as a character and realizes her worldview is a facade. She is terrified and must learn that it is OK to feel not OK. The movie does not go out of its way to make Barbie look great. At the end of the day what we get is an honest portrayal of not only how children view the Barbie world but also how that can cause problems as we mature and enter the real world. Learning is hard. In fact, learning can hurt. It is not fun to admit you don’t know something. It is uncomfortable to change but in the end, it is usually best.

Buenos Aires, Argentina; 08-03-2023: Barbie the movie. Thematic horizontal background of woman's hands holding a cell phone that represents the success and fury for the Barbie movie. -Adobe Stock
Buenos Aires, Argentina; 08-03-2023: Barbie the movie. Thematic horizontal background of a woman’s hands holding a cell phone that represents the success and fury for the Barbie movie. -Adobe Stock

Think back to a time when you failed at something. Think about a time when you didn’t make the grade. When you thought you had it all figured out and then when you stepped up you didn’t know what to do next. Maybe it was with a stranger on a bus where you missed the beat and offended them. Maybe it was with your significant other. Maybe it was with your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving. Maybe it was at work. Maybe it was something you tried to patch up with your children and failed. We have all been there, and if you haven’t been there then you are telling yourself lies.

“To err is human; to forgive, divine,” is the famous phrase from An Essay on Criticism BY ALEXANDER POPE. We all make mistakes babe, It’s OK. Forgive yourself and find a way to move onto a better path. This is how we take a step closer to clarity, to actually understanding the universe.

The Barbie movie has a high E.Q. (Emotional Quotient.) The film is transparent as well as aware of its own brand. (Not unlike The LEGO Movie (2014).) These new “META” or self-aware type of brand-based movies embrace the failures of their past.

Tambov, Russian Federation - February 24, 2019 Lego Hard Hat Emmet and Lucy minifigures against Apocalypseburg background. The Lego Movie 2. - Adobe Stock
Tambov, Russian Federation – February 24, 2019 Lego Hard Hat Emmet and Lucy minifigures against Apocalypseburg background. The Lego Movie 2. – Adobe Stock

The pregnant Midge, Allan the “non-Ken”, the absolute pain of stepping on a LEGO block with bare feet; the potential sexist views of past products are not swept under the rug and ignored, they are discussed and explored. The fact that Barbie has not cured sexism and defeated the patriarchy is a core theme of the film. In the same way, we build credibility with our learners by owning our mistakes. Talking about misinformation we have provided our class in the name of clearly communicating the truth.

I trained people at a call center for a few years. I would train night classes of 30 to 40 people at a time for 3-week training cohorts plus a week of hands-on application. That is 120 hours of class time per class for a month. I was training people on the credit industry and how to use a proprietary data entry platform that was designed and developed by our employer.

Laws change, banks change their terms, and computer programs get updated. I had to live in a constant state of acceptance if I wanted my learners to trust me. I had to say things like, “Oh, thank you for clarifying that.” and “That is not how that worked last month.” Stay in the flow, and keep things real, people like that. If you are rigid in your knowledge and do not accept change easily people will learn that you recall things incorrectly because you can not update your perspective.

Cali, Colombia - June 6, 2023: "Barbie" movie on TV screen behind a bowl of popcorn and a remote control. 
- Adobe Stock
Cali, Colombia – June 6, 2023: “Barbie” movie on TV screen behind a bowl of popcorn and a remote control.
– Adobe Stock

This is all about modeling our instruction as a mirror against reality. When Barbie (and in fact Mattel) own their mistakes transparently, they are creating a platform that transcends where we were, where we are, and generates a vision or maybe even inspires us to dream of where we could be… A world of true equity.

Improvement Dave dressed as Ken while his daughter watches him pretend he can wail on guitar. - Dave's iPhone Mini
Improvement Dave dressed as Ken while his daughter watches him pretend he can wail on guitar. – Dave’s iPhone Mini

The fact that the movie was banned in Kuwait and Lebanon for promoting feminism shows that we have some room to grow as a species.

South Korea ranks last in gender equality among OECD countries. Even the president himself, Yoon Suk Yeol, defined feminism as a movement “that wants to criminalize men”.

Just some ideas, they might not be Kenough to change your worldview if you disagree.

We Traveled to Savannah for Work!

Back in September of 2023, I took a lot of videos about all the fun I was having on a work trip. It took me a while to get to a point where I wanted to work through that video footage and share it. In fact, I grew a beard for no shave in November and have since shaved it off for my wife’s birthday. So here we are a whole beard later.

Are work trips always fun, well, not really, especially if you have to travel all the time for work. I have done that and after a few months, it gets old. However, there is a secret weapon that I plan to explore further and it threatens to be a theme for me moving forward. That concept is the one of Novelty. Specifically how novelty can increase your lifespan, or at least your perception of your lifespan, which to be fair is the same thing… more on that later, but for now, let’s talk about how amazing this short work trip was. I flew out to Savanna with a layover in Nashville on Southwest Airlines on a Wednesday morning. That night we had dinner with the whole team and on Thursday we had our big meeting. I could have flown home on Thursday but I snuck in a bit more novelty by hanging around Thursday night and flying home Friday morning.

I do not want to downplay the Pirate Nature of this work trip. So look out for the pirate themes… Not sure how ya could miss it ya
SWAB! offen’ ya goes ta swab Vee starbird bow. Make Haste! A.I. review shared that I jump around aimlessly from topic to topic here and do not have a point. How else should a good Pirate behave?

Skull and Crossbones Pirate Flag
AdobeStock_467304940

So, off to a good start on this business trip. We were in a fun town. It’s not easy to have such a novel experience when you are stuck in the belly button of Newark.
Luckily the video below starts at the Savannah airport and quickly progresses a restaurant called The Pirate’s House – ARGGHHH.

Yes.

Well, why can’t it be both? With a bit of intentional effort, it usually can.

Although the reason for this trip was to capture feedback from our talented SMEs on the EPEC training content provided by NAED, the footage I captured had very little to do with that process. This is in part because I simply didn’t think to capture that video of us working, but also because we were discussing learning content that is developed for sale by the National Association of Electrical Distributors, so I didn’t feel comfortable doing so.

In hindsight (Which is normally in 20/20 they say) I should have captured more video of us actually working on the training project itself. It is not exactly exciting, (unless you are a learning nerd like I am or an electrical products nerd like our SMEs,) but it is nice to see how passionate our reviewers are about being factual and transparent in presenting the landscape of the electrical distribution market. Moving forward I think our Marketing team would enjoy having that sort of content on hand, so I might make an effort to start capturing it.

Now I have only been on two of these trips, but from what I gather we normally find time outside of working hours to just walk around. This time we were tipped off by one of our talented SMEs that there was a Prohibition Museum within walking distance of our hotel. So we definitely hit that up, and that is definitely represented in the video above. My leader, Kitty, found a fantastic restaurant to dine at called The Pirate’s House – ARGGHHH. (I would like to point out that this “ARGGHHH” was not added by me but by the top Google result for the restaurant’s home page. So, yeah, that says a lot about how cool this restaurant is.

Also, while wandering around we ended up in the Adjacent hotel lobby …or the Hotel lobby that was adjacent to ours. Actually, I am not sure if it was adjacent or what would even make it adjacent, but I do like the word adjacent a lot. It makes me sound smart-ified.
That Marriot Hotel Lobby which was adjacent to our Boutique hotel lobby was filled with Geode Gemstones. I will say, that I did read some of the words found on signs in this location. This was done to make me look more smart-fied in front of my Boss, Kitty, pictured right. While doing this reading of words, I learned that most of these GEODES are the largest samples of such crystals in all of the globe. That is laden with novelty!

Picture of Improvement Dave (David Kolmer) and Kitty Lasinski, Dave's boss in front of the largest of this type of Geode known to the human species in all of existence.
Picture of Improvement Dave (David Kolmer) and Kitty Lasinski, (Dave’s boss) in front of the largest of this type of Geode known to the human species in all of the known meta-verses.
Improvment Dave

So, when I exported these images from iCloud to my PC laptop running Windows, they exported as HEIC files. Normally they do not do that and I am still not sure why they did that this time. I have seen HEIC file format when I export original files from the Mac “Photos” app to my Mac computer, but I have never seen that working on my PC.

At any rate, when I loaded Mac format images into ADOBE Premiere RUSH to create the video they all imported inverted (or upside-down for the uninitiated.) Maybe, I was holding my phone upside-down when I took this mess of selfies and my phone auto-rotated them? I normally only see this file suffix for images I have edited…

Color me Confused!

…and in awe of this ginormous silver Dinosaur skeleton!

So, I say all this to explain, that there is a group of photos I opened as a batch in my Microsoft image viewer and attempted to export as a batch but the batch export didn’t work. I still had to export them one at a time to convert them to PNG files, but at least they were not inverted like in ADOBE for PC.

Now, I could have probably used the HEIC files on my V-log here, because WordPress and the internet are both awesome! …but let me tell you I have had more problems working with these HEIC files than I can share here. I can’t submit them on government web pages, and they never work on the apps for my kid’s school, and that is being done on my iPhone that created them. So, I tend to go out of the way to avoid using the HEIC file format. Yes, Apple, I said it, your format stinks! It smells of wet lettuce. I am sure it is great for all these groundbreaking early-adaptor reasons that I don’t know about. Like some layered spectral benefit that will most likely never benefit me. Mostly they just make me wish I didn’t have an iPhone, and that says A LOT, because I love my iPhone, but I am a simple man.

For example, this is the largest GEODE of this chemical format in the world and it looks like a certain part of the male human anatomy which I will leave unsaid and unwritten at this juncture! Heh! it doesn’t even fit in the shot!

So, either way, many of the exports that I opened as a batch had the tint all messed up, but those are actually kind of cool! so I will post those now to add a dramatic effect to how cool these GEODES were! …I guess the tip was broken off. Oh Well! It’s still the biggest! Does size matter? Not when you are the biggest!

Kind of reminds me of something. It’s on the tip of my lip…

There was a gigantic skull in the floor! (Grammarly wants me to say “on” the Floor. No, Grammarly, NO, bad A.I., it was IN the floor, under glass, lying on a bed of sand… and some rocks and shells and such.)

Crazy Dino-Fish Skull IN the frakin’ FLOOR

So, of course, I laid my body down parallel to the floor for to photograph mine-self.
Hello!? I am Dave, have you ever met me!?

Remember the featured image of this VLOG post!? Well, it even got caught up in the Multi-dimensionally powered MAC/PC image tint fuede!

Who is in this photo!? Wouldn’t you like to know!
Do you really think they want to be associated with this disaster!?

Break down the Tiled Gallery Mosaic with Curved edges SELECTOR!

So, in conclusion, traveling with the National Association of Electrical Distributors of the United States of America is an Electrifying experience.

OK, I’ll stop. In all seriousness though….

It was a real gem of an experience!

Improvement Dave

Measurable and Quartzified.

MUSIC
Polo & Pan – Ani Kuni
French 79 – Quartz

Where Does Learning Live?

I would like to start this with a comparison or analogy from my personal life.
This is a comparison of the theatrical stage to the classroom, neither of which are where true learning takes place.

I started my Bachelor of Fine Arts in Acting. I soon realized that I love acting but I was not crazy about acting for the rest of my life to support a family. There is a good chance you will never make any real money and there is a better chance that you will have to go full-out crazy. Let that sink in…

I literally read an article in one of my classes that stated to be successful at acting you first need to snap and be crazy. While in school this sounded perfect. Just what I wanted as a 20-something artist with a need for wild abandon… but the more I thought about it and the more I read about philosophy and world religion the crazy sounded like a path I might not enjoy forever.

Improvement Dave dressed as a vampire for Halloween.

(I mean I have kids, and I still celebrate Halloween. The jester is not dead, but the aimless dreamer has left the building. Enter the motivated, directed dreamer with training in adult learning theory and educational technology…)

My point here is that if you go to study acting at anything less than a high-level conservatory, there is a good chance that the acting lessons are diminishing your ability to act well on stage. Meaning, that you no longer go on stage being believable but you go on stage and “Act” like you are living the role on stage. In other words, you just go through the motions, pick up tricks, and play off of television tropes instead of creating art. (To be fair this is more the result of a poor theatrical education and some of the training I received at Millikin University even discussed this and acknowledged the danger of mediocre acting training.)

This is a widely debated concept and I know there are modern reactions against Konstantin Stanislavski’s “method acting” or “living the part” approach… To be honest, those crazy method performers who commit to living the part fully are my favorite. Jim Carrey, Heath Ledger, Natalie Portman, Forest Whitaker, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jamie Foxx, Val Kilmer, Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman not to mention the classics, Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, and Dustin Hoffman; these are by far my favorite performers to watch on screen.

Either way, life as an actor demands a certain detachment from the real world. You are always on the hunt for the next gig, you have to keep on the move.

So, the more you study acting in school the worse you get at acting, or the less believable you are on stage. Needless to say, part way through my BFA in acting I switched to a BA in Theater so I could broaden my horizons and take technical theater, language, art, and philosophy classes.

After theater school, I did some stunt work and stage acting in Colorado at Buckskin Joe in Canon City City, Colorado. It was hard work and I gave it my all. It was exhausting.

It was a fun job for $6 an hour, but it reinforced the concept that maybe acting was not my path.

Next, I would like to draw a parallel between acting and teaching.

In 2004, I ended up finding a job teaching English as a Second Language in Thailand and I loved it. It was kind of like acting but you were just standing there talking to the audience face to face. It was the same thing, but instead of the focus being on entertainment and then learning, the focus was on learning and then I could add in entertainment to motivate the learners.

So, you could say that I used my Theater experience in the classroom, but I was never officially trained in how to teach for the first five of my seven years teaching in Thailand. You could ask any of my students and they would probably tell you I was not a typical teacher. I encouraged my students to teach me the Thai language and we discussed art, food, music, and whatever else we found interesting. So, learning was happening even though I was not teaching at them. I would say more of the exchange of ideas happened in the hallways of the school, at lunch, or grabbing a coffee out front of the school.

When I finally went back to get TEFL certified I just received formalized actions to do that resembled what I had been doing previously through experimentation and honest reaction. To be honest, my students gave me good feedback on my classes for the most part before I was certified. I was present in the room. I wasn’t “TEACHING” I was in the room with them as a learner. After I was certified and became a “Real Teacher” something changed. I just fell back on following the actions and the whole thing became more of a job than an experience. I actually stopped enjoying the work at a certain level and I would guess I was less effective overall.

While in Thailand, I wasn’t spending my time seeking out Western culture and where to get Western food. I spent time driving my motorcycle up mountains to grab handfuls of green tea from the field, and to learn from the nomadic hill tribe people. I worked on learning the Thai language, cooking Thai food, and finding ways to think more like a Thai person. I didn’t seek out Christian churches, I went on Buddhist meditation retreats. I didn’t go to Webster University in Bangkok, and take classes on Thai culture, I went to Turtle Island (Koh Tao) and went SCUBA diving off a wooden squid fishing boat with a Native Thai SCUBA Master.

Learning by doing concept. Hand turns a dice and changes the word "learning" to "doing", or vice versa.

You can’t “do” learning. You have to live it. You have to experience it firsthand.

When we have an issue at an organization we often hear from those at the top of leadership, “We should have a training.” What we often end up with is a canned eLearning that has some learning objectives somewhat related to the “opportunity.” I am not advocating against eLearning, but what I am saying is often times we have training because say, “The workplace culture is in the toilet.” and then when it goes from bad to worse we point the finger back at the training.

Displeased Caucasian boss scolding incompetent employee for bad work results at multiracial group meeting

Often times what needs to happen instead of a PDF sent out in the LMS, an eLearning purchased from a leading content developer, or even a custom eLearning developed by local staff who really understand the issue; is the culture needs to change. We are looking for a paradigm shift. We are looking for a behavioral change. That doesn’t happen in a classroom, that happens in daily exchanges with other people.

We often jump to the conclusion that learning happens in a classroom with a teacher. Where the teacher tells the “learners” in the room what to think and then they think that thing. This is not how real learning works. We might get an idea in the classroom. We might gain a new perspective from a video or an eLearning. However, we do not internally learn something on a deeper level that promotes behavior change until we witness the same conclusion in the real world.

If the training is very similar to the real world and then the conclusion aligns with our worldview and our experiences in the real world then training can move the needle and cause change. If the training is not relevant, we can’t relate to it or it does not align with the learner’s experience then it will not change the way we behave. Learning happens while talking to friends. Learning happens on the sales call. Learning happens when talking to a stranger in the elevator.

Text Lead by example typed on retro typewriter
Text Lead by example typed on retro typewriter

In other words, if you want the culture of your organization to be one of a growth mindset or a culture of learning then you have to build that culture. Assigning 10 compliance eLearnings about how learning is good will not get the organization to the next level. If you want a new culture, you have to live the culture. If you want a culture of learning, you have to live it.

! David Kolmer !

Happy Halloween!

You might not be aware but for October, I continued my consistency challenge. I paid homage to the great Chinese philosopher Lau Tzu by consistently NOT posting on my blog for a whole month.

Sometimes the best action is to not take action and I must say, a break was nice, after a month of posting every day for my pushup challenge and posting as frequently as I could for a biking challenge.

Some pumpkins I carved with my kids. and some pictures of them moving in a slow shutter speed shot to look like “Ghosts.” Fun stuff as we prepare for Halloween!

I will say that I have not shaved for the end of October and I will continue that for no shave in November. So I will be consistently NOT shaving the hair off my face for November. I want to share my inspiration. (Please read my response to this initial FaceBook post.

So you can see below that I have gotten a bit of a head start. My social media is not flattering. I am very transparent about how amazing my life is not. Here I have tagged myself #iswalking. I walk a lot and it is my most frequent tag on Facebook:

Here I am at the checkout at the local “Schnucks- the friendliest stores in town” They are inexpensive and their produce is sometimes OK. I am back on not drinking alcohol, so this is a very special #iswalking selfie.

I think I should be consistent in this #iswalking. I did not do that when I started, but I think I might. Well, I should, just to be consistent.

So, as you might have guessed, October was the month of consistently not doing. I will continue to not do something in November by not shaving, but I will continue to start writing again. I am thinking about how I did 16 days of learning to design in 3D and then I completed the training modules and worked on an art piece, had trouble exporting to other Adobe applications, and then just stopped. Well, I was feeling tapped out. I was feeling very vulnerable for not knowing how to export and I didn’t want to force any creative ideas. However, now I have some ideas I would like to pursue in that space so I plan to return to that 30-day challenge and even though it is not 30 days back to back I can at least still follow through and be consistent in completing the challenge.

I love you!

Lau Tzu [Tao Te Ching chapter 48]