Overactive security led to negative participant experiences at the recent event DAVELEARN, a “smaller learning conference” which took place at the GAMELAYER.fm studios from November 10th to November 14th, 2025, in St. Louis, MO. Sources claim there was an overactive security guard on site, who reportedly refused entry to participants in the event that they could not present their badge.
CEO of the event, Dave, made a statement an hour ago from the mainstage at GAMELAYER STUDIOS:
“Team DAVELEARN apologizes for the actions of our overzealous security guard. We received some reports late last night, November 11th, 2025, that they were refused entry for having the wrong type of badge. We outsourced security for this event, and it appears that the proper vetting process for asset selection was not completed. Our sources indicate that this employee was dishonorably discharged from their local militia. We are releasing any more specifics at this point, but rest assured, this former employee was reprimanded and is no longer with us.”
Images of the imposter have been recovered from HD security camera footage.
Sources earlier this morning (11:07 AM November 20, 2025), including potential DAVELEARN Conference attendee Sheila B. Robinson, revealed on the professional Social Media app LinkedIn that “[She] couldn’t get past security at the convention center without wearing [her] badge and lanyard. ([She] was holding it in [her] hand one day, and they hassled [her]).”
A response to the post was delivered at the front doors of GAMELAYER STUDIOS by the DAVELEARN team’s Vice President of Human Resources, “Dave the HR guy,” to a sizable and eager press attendance. Due to a significant magnetic frequency disturbance in the area, there is no audio or video footage available for that official statement. However, text-based copies of the address were captured on pen and paper in real time.
“Thank you for attending this press update. Team DAVELEARN has received additional information regarding the previous employee on our security team, who is known only as ‘DAVE’, who we have confirmed entered into the position under a false identity. Our sources indicate he was only admitting attendies whose badge included the word ‘SECURITY’ on it at the South entrance. We would like to confirm that this was not the direction that was provided by team DAVELEARN, and in addition, we would like to apologize for any negative attendee experiences. This man was not of sound mind; he believed he was a reincarnation of Napoleon Bonaparte XIV, who recently passed away on the 10th of March, 2023. It is our promise that this will never happen again at any DAVELEARN event.”
Sources on site who witnessed the apprehension of the Security Guard formerly known as “Dave” state that he was found digging through the ashes of the stump that was lit on fire during the DAVELEARN event. The man who self-identified as a reincarnation of Napoleon Bonaparte XIV began to yell that he was on a crucial and pivotal mission, collecting scientific samples of the remains of the fire that needed to be analyzed by the proper authorities in what he called the “MO cave-dweller community.”
A person walking down the street where GAMELAYER STUDIOS is located observed, “Why do all these DAVES look like clones. What sort of conspiracy is this?”
Improvement Dave 